my right knee is totally busted. killed me during council prac today, especially the end. as usual we had our lonnnnnng practice, while our classmates just laughed at us knowing they could go off 7 hours earlier at 3 30. how i just wish that everyone i know, knows what we are going through right now. haha, then maybe they might come to appreciate student councillors more. i really hope, we are not as see as the segregators. the ones who are above the rest. i really want things to stay the same with all my friends that are in house council, soccer, whatever! just yeah, to be the same, i know its hard.

lectures today, got back MATHS AND CHEM. my worst two subject. both Us as expected. 3 treats collected already haha! but aside from that, im about to make a major decision. my heart and my mind tell me different things. sometimes, i really just want to give in. but yeah, gotta be sure!

so, what to do? i ask you now? how?
im at a loss
stuck
refusing to make a decision
sometimes, i want someone to do it for me
and i know it'll all change
not just cause of them
but yeah, me, and my life.
sometimes, i wished, i was in another place, but can meet the same friends.
i dont like the life im living in now.
i want to leave it
and move on.
moving on? yeah sure, but so many things holding me back. especially all of them. the people i have come to like, love and treasure. what to do i ask you!

and thats just one problem. theres still another! haha. shit why so much problems coming at once. but this one really isnt a real problem. it just concerns my happiness haha! whether or not i really WANT it. i really dont know, im afraid situations and such may screw whatever decision i make. but i know for sure what my heart tells me(:

in any case, this is just a shoutout too ally jan yuqi huiying boonling and amanda! hahhaha THANKS LOTS la. no matter what okay, in my heart, forever. distance can only do so much to our relationship ok. whats distance but a measurement in the world right. we go so much more than that. then theres the s12 people, dont say i leave your out or what. i know leah ALWAYS complaining! frankly, its getting hurtful leh. you know how much we really dont want to be like this. and its making us in a difficult position too, you know how much we wanna just clone ourselves?

black&white ; 11:15 PM